Mother Tongue

By Kristen Taylor

The Mother Tongue is a parenting column that Kristen (Juvie's owner) writes. It was published monthly in the Ventura County Star from 2004-2006, and now appears in the Los Feliz Ledger. Kristen's other publishing credits include the Christian Science Monitor, Because I Said So, the Los Angeles Times Magazine, and elsewhere.

October 30, 2009

I Don’t Want to Go to Sleep!

“Mom, I’m tired, so I’m going to bed now.”

I have to ask the readers with grown children: When does a parent hear those magical words? When?

I’m guessing that it probably happens the first time your adult child comes to visit you with their new baby, and leaves you in charge of the grandkid.

As my kids have gotten older and more sophisticated, their bedtime-avoidance scams have become more subtle. Either that, or their acting is getting better. What else could explain the several nights a week, fifteen minutes before lights-out, that Luke suddenly remembers one last piece of homework to be done? Or that Lola often scrambles into the shower just as I round the corner to say goodnight? It’s gotten to the point where I half expect to find them weeding the garden at 9:20 pm, because they know that no parent would ever tell a kid to put down the spade and come inside.

You would think that something as vital as sleep would be self-regulated in children, as in: They go to sleep when they are tired, and wake up when they are rested. Maybe that was the case at some point in human history, but it sure isn’t today. What was the change that compelled children to try to stay up as late as possible every night? Maybe it was the invention of electric lights, or radio, or television. Maybe it was the advent of microwave popcorn.

Doctors tell us that the importance of our kids getting enough sleep is right up there with proper nutrition. If you’d like to know how you’re faring in the battle to get your kids enough sleep, here are some per-night guidelines from Michael J. Breus, Ph.D,. a psychologist who specializes in sleep behavior:

3-6 years old: 10 ¾ – 12 hours

7-12 years olds: 10-11 hours

12-18 years old: 8 ¼ – 9 ½ hours

Chasing down the kids every night and insisting on a regular bedtime seems to be paying off for us, because we’re actually hitting those marks (though on the low side of the ranges). Our bedtime “routine” is rarely without arguments, negotiations, and stall tactics, but as with most things in the parenting realm, what’s good for them isn’t always what’s easiest for us.

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