Mother Tongue
By Kristen Taylor
A Mother’s “New” New Year’s Resolutions
Parents, it’s time to dust off last year’s New Year’s resolutions and give them a fresh spin for 2009. In previous years my resolutions have been foiled by what I consider every mother’s deluded sense of optimism (e.g., I can make it from school to the orthodontist in six minutes!). This year I decided that my resolutions would actually take into account the fact that as a mother I am more pressed for time, sleep, money, and an even temperament than other folks. Here, then, are one mother’s slightly more realistic New Year’s resolutions:
Get more exercise –Set a goal of “functional fitness,” meaning a level of fitness that lets you accomplish the tasks in your everyday life. The dog needs walking, the flower beds need turning over, and the roof needs repairing. If you do isometric exercises while supervising your children doing these chores, you will end up svelte and strong.
Eat better - Eating better requires a certain amount of planning, which requires time. You have none of that, so regulate your diet by following two simple rules: 1) Kids are growing and have super quick metabolisms. The sad fact is that your kids need to eat more than you do. Serve yourself 2/3 of what your kids are eating, then add a glass of red wine for the resveratrol and your sense of dignity. 2) Finishing your children’s abandoned dinner is a good deed that prevents waste.
Save more money – It’s awfully tough these days to end up with any money leftover at the end of the month, but gas prices are tumbling, which should leave a few dollars to tuck away. Last week, eBay sales of Webkinz had a greater return than T-bills, so we’ll be investing heavily in Bubblegumasaurus.
Stop procrastinating – Contrary to what you tell your children, you are not “working” just because you are on your computer. That is, unless you are writing your mommy blog, which you plan on monetizing with banner ads and those animated mortgage rate come-ons. And you will definitely get more material for your blog if you check in with your Facebook friends several times an hour. No, it’s not really working, but it is networking!